Went to see the school counsellor ytd.
It's the first time i'm attending an actual counseling session and I was quite sad to say that it wasn't the kind of session that i pictured. Emotions being let out, counsellor giving me advice and telling me that it's okay,etc. It was a rather "meet the teacher" session if i can put it that way :/
First qn the counsellor asked, "So why are you here?" (read: just tell me yr problem so that I can get it over and done with). Like..HELLO? if i were an actual patient and I'm getting called to counseling, the least the sch could do is to just inform the counsellor right? of cos, being well-trained I obviously knew why I was getting called there (the email didn't say it was optional). Told her that my gpa was below requirement and I was called to come for counseling. And it wasn't because of anything...just because I overloaded myself with too much work and commitments last sem. LOL.
After that, it was just silence and she wanted to just let me off. I was like "hell no. i spent an hr coming here and u're packing me off in just 5 minutes?!"
But tbh, on hindsight, I actually do want someone other than my mum to hear my thoughts cuz they're driving me crazy. I told her about how I am considering dropping my economics degree cuz i just have no appreciation for the math right now (especially statistics! srsly i hate that subject)
Most epic moment was when she asked "So, do you have any idea what you wanna do (with yr life)?"
I stared blankly and said "No."
After that she just recommended me to do a test. and when I said i'll take it, she gave me a doubtful look. "So you're gonna take it?"
Hell yea obviously I ran out of ideas to help myself already. It was more of a last straw thing LOL.
And so that was it.
Didn't know counsellors aren't all that nice, warm, loving person. The one I had was somehow useful, but totally hard to feel any warmth from her =.= Not a usual thing I would say since I am not all that sugar-spice-and-everything-nice kind of person. but when i'm in sharing my thoughts and lost-ness, I would expect someone to at least try to understand and give me some better suggestions...or at the least give me some encouragement =.=
Even writing my blogpost is more emotional releasing than a counseling session. nevertheless it was quite a new experience and I'll probably go back for more visits to find someone to talk to. haha. Writing blogpost nowadays is really mostly for myself. To silence all those noises in my head by plonking them all on paper (or in the internet). To think that I originally revived my blog in hopes of making it famous like certain bloggers. HAHA.
Plonking down stuff like how the counseling sessions made me feel more depressed by making me think even more =.= Or maybe this is a good side effect that would help me reflect more until I know what I want in life/make up a plan to find that answer. Just hope that I don't get analysis paralysis (over-thinking). Which happens quite often.
Anyway, I need to study now. Ciao~
