The story of my love life:

New person: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Me: "haha nope"

New person: "Oh haha but you had boyfriends in the past right?"

Me: "Uhm..no. I'm evergreen"

New person: "Oh...*awkward laughter* then must have a lot of guys chasing you now right?"

Me: "uhm..no one is chasing me now. Not that I know of anyway.."

New person: *after a long awkward pause* "Oh okay...you look like you'll have a lot of suitors...haha it's okay! You'll meet the right person someday"

FML. #foreveralone

To that bastard that whacked me with the taxi door just now:

F*** u bastard. U come out of the taxi 5 seconds later will die is it? Why can't u wait for the person to walk away first before opening the damn door?! Go burn in hell.