yay it's over

Last 2++ hours of 2011. While everyone is in a "I NEED TO PARRTYYY" mood, I was surprisingly in a super reflective mood today..ok..more like SLEEPY mood.

For some unknown reason, I woke up feeling super horrible. My throat felt super bruised and my whole body felt like it was burning. but still i managed to drag myself out of bed and rush to for my dental appt. haha visiting the dentist on the last day of 2011. Oh well, at least she was the first and only person who wished me "HAPPY NEW YEAR" so far. LOL xD

I had to choose a light pink rubber band cuz my interview is in less than a week's time. Next time, i'm so gonna choose the new ones with dual colours xD yay red&white for national day perhaps (but that's in august) xD sighz. i wanna wear red ones for CNY!!! Hope I can get a job.

After that, i bought a cute little diary, then walked ard the mall (like 3 times) waiting for my mum to finish her lesson. felt super sick throughout. and why do i have to meet so many shuai ge while i'm feeling at my worst?! sighz.

Why did i start this post anw??? OH yah. Surprisingly despite the fact that new year's eve is suppose to be a happy event, the fb statuses seem to prove otherwise. lol. "Alone on new year's eve", "alone", "ending 2011 single"...you get what i mean. Srsly ppl, do we really need to get so emo just because we're single? Who says that you have to find a guy/girl by the end of the year?? (that is, unless you've set that as your 2011 resolution and failed to achieve it. then again, it's a weird resolution to make.) Anw, i'm just happy that i managed to survive 2011 and best of all, survived A levels :) I'm grateful for that.

Anyway, I just want 2012 to be a meaningful and happy year. A year where I can finally start finding myself, what i want to do, eat all the food that i want, go to the places that i wanna go, learn all the things i want to, etc. haha actually that's quite a long wishlist. LOL. anw, most imptly, STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY. Let 2012 be a year of good health, happiness and friendship :) A year where i won't be alone :)

I wanna do lots of volunteer work too.

haha okay idk what i'm talking about.lol.

Ciao~

I know i want to learn alot of stuff but isn't driving a basic skill?? and you call it USELESS and WASTE OF $$$. wts.

So in that case, U want me to go get an electrician license arh?! confirm damn useful! everyday can repair aircon and pipes and toilet bowls for u! HMPH!

I didn't feel as liberated and relaxed as i thought i would before A's.

Maybe i should go overseas...go to a foreign country where everything is so new, so interesting, so foreign. Even though i am quite lazy, but i know deep inside that i'm a born adventurer. To go explore the natural beauty, architecture, food, scent, languages, practices, lifestyles in the world around me. yeah. if i do have the money to do so.

sighz. I wanna feel go to a place where i can temporarily put aside all the decisions and responsibilities that i have to carry on my shoulders. yeah and all that growing up that i have to do..especially since these responsibilities and decisions will only increase as i grow up.

lol i guess i should just forget about all these serious stuff on christmas eve and focus on having fun :)

Just read on my friend's blog that she had a "class" outing today.(which i didn't even know of till now btw) Sighz. It just feels kinda weird and left out, especially since i was actually close to them just a year ago. I guess people do change huh. People whom i used to hang out with are now almost as good as acquintances :/

I'm so bored now that A's are over...rawr. Exams are over but somehow a new kind of pressure is slipping in...and it seems even more daunting than exams (but of course, i'd rather face the present challenges than to go through all that s*** again).

Anw, idk what job to get..it seems like choices do paralyse. I don't know what to choose. Waitress, cashier, admin, secretary, healthcare assistant, teaching? lol. tell me what to do. Some jobs seem quite attractive but they made it sound so ambiguous that i had to reject them. How to work if you don't know what company you're working for anw?

Sighz. and i need to exercise. don't know why but i just can't seem to find back the motivation to do so after taking such a long break from physical activities. This is no good. i've got to do sth about it. Maybe start with swimming or cycling perhaps.

Haha and i don't care man...i'm so gonna watch a movie tmr. I've been waiting for the movie "you're the apple of my eye" to come out ever since i saw the making of the movie. I hardly watch movies, but i have to admit i'm rather attracted to this movie. A simple, heartwarming movie. Doesn't need to have super awesome sound effects or graphics. I just enjoy the story plots, the conversations between characters. Something that's close to the heart and homely like the aroma of kopi, fried carrot cake and char kway teow from our local hawker centres. Haha sry if it sounds confusing..i'm not very strong in my writing skills. oops :x

but yep, i hope it's good.

And i've decided. I'm going to learn Jap, Korean and Malay this holiday. Sounds like alot of work but i guess it's worth a try :) Malay will be ok since my dad offered to teach me. Good practice for him too if he decides to teach in the future. (though tbh he's not really a good teacher, but his teaching materials should be quite good)

As for Jap, i'm still in the midst of deciding whether to be taught by my mum or to go to a langauge school to learn. Korean is tough to learn..just visited BBC website and i was honestly intimidated by the number of characters i need to learn (about 1000+? omg) I guess i would need a language school for that.

i wanna learn italian too. but i guess that can be learnt through self-studying books. Maybe i can join back dance class and start practicing with the teachers there. haha. omg i'll be such a laughing stock.

I still want to learn so many things. I want to go for get my driving license before i enter uni. I want to learn baking and make lots of good food. I want to learn hairstyling cuz according to my mum, it's a good skill to have. And i would probably join a volunteering group to help provide hair cutting service to hospital patients.
My mum wants to teach me to cook and sew (and prepare to be a housewife) xD haha jkjk just lifeskills that i need to be independent.

okay...speaking of lifeskills, i guess i know what job to take now and i'm gonna go send the resume right now. Ciao~

It's my bday today :) But sighz...why must i feel ill on this day?! lol. gotta go see a doctor later in the morning. bet no one visits the doctor on their bday except for me:/

But i'm quite happy though...cuz there are 3 posts on my fb wall wishing me happy bday. Surprisingly, they were not any of my close friends. One from an og mate whom i've not seen in a while and 2 were juniors from Cedar. Tbh, fb really makes you very self-conscious, but i'm still happy to know that there are ppl who bother to wish me happy bday at 12am on my bday:) Thank you guys. love ya :)

May this be a happy day for everyone...and of course for myself :)

How can some ppl have so many friends to help them celebrate their birthday? Don't i have friends too?

My bday is coming up in 2 days time..i don't know why but i actually feel more depressed and sad than excited. It's my 18th bday and it's suppose to be special. I remember when my aunt used to tell me how they celebrated a girl's 18th birthday and i secretly wished that it would come soon so that i can also have a great celebration. But now that it's actually coming, I still get the feeling that it's gonna be the same as past years. A day that reminds me what a loner i am. A day that's not special enough to my friends.

I know, i know...i can always take the initiative to ask ppl out rite? I did. And thankfully, brenda was willing to come:) But i didn't have the courage to ask the rest. I don't want to be rejected again and again. Or worse...have someone to promise you that he/she would come, giving you hope but then disappoint you in the end by not turning up. People need to know how hurtful it is..imagine inviting 10 'friends' and end up having only 1 to turn up on the actual day. (yeah that happened to me. It was from then on that i stopped having bday 'parties'. No invitation, no disappointment.)

Anyway, i guess that shouldn't stop me from being happy on that day. After all, it is still a special day for myself and my family. I'll buy myself the things i like to eat, go to places that i wanna go, and see the friend who cares to meet me on that special day :] If all else, I still have my parents:) lol.

So many things i wanna learn :)

Ate jap food for lunch with megan, hoitong and clarissa today. Next time, I'll think twice before i try to order anything with the word "SUPER" in front of it :P

After lunch, we explored kinokuniya a little. Hoitong showed me some jap and korean language books that she had. There's so many things that i wanna learn, but idk which one to start with. sighz. looks like i have lots of thinking and planning to do after prom night :)

Then we went to look at cute jap stationaries and they were all sooo cute! I had a dose of nolstalgia when we were both squealing at the sight of all those adorable notebooks, stickers and files. haha. I used to run around and admire all those cute stationaries, wishing that i could buy one of them, just one. But idk why, i never did. As much as the child-like side of me wants to own all those cute things, I knew that they were not necessities and never caved in to the urge to buy them. haha. sighz. I shall go earn my own money and then buy just one cute file/notebook for myself. or perhaps the jap language book. haha.

Anyway, i'm just gonna relax before the busy day tmr. And do some sit-ups as a last minute weight loss strategy. Ciao~

Never knew that preparing for prom is so tiring. Finding a dress, the accessories, the makeup and hairdo etc. so many things to do. But hopefully it'll all be worth it:) So many girls are complaining that they give up on dressing up and that they can't find a nice dress...it makes me wonder, for whom are we dressing up for anyway? Well, it's different for those with their significant other half, but for singles? lol. I guess we should just make ourselves happy :) To be honest, dressing up can be such a confidence booster. haha.

And it is at such times that i'm grateful for my super creative, super cute mum <3