Didn't do anything much these few days...but the week seems to past so fast. lol. Maybe cuz i've been living mostly in my head for the whole time :/ Yeah. When you don't do much physically, you will somehow find yourself retreating into the world in your mind. Some call it reflecting, but i call it discovering. After so many years in the paper chase, this holiday has been a scary experience for me. All of a sudden, all the thinking and reflecting that should have been done long ago are now haunting me like an undone homework. lol. i know this description sounds weird, but srsly it felt like that initially. That explains all the stress and anxiety previously. I am trying to do something that some people may take a lifetime to accomplish...in 6 mths. Just like what my bio teacher said to me, "Follow your heart...take time to experience". Tbh, i still don't really understand what that meant despite hearing them countless times. I just want to be happy. But my problem is now...how to make it last. hahaha what a joke. I don't even know what i'm trying to say anymore. lol. Anw, the bottomline is, I don't know what i want. I want to be happy. I don't know what to do. I have so little time to consider and make a decision. But i'm just really....tired. Tired of thinking. Tired of worrying. Tired of planning. So that's it. I'm not gonna think so much for the next week. and the next. I'm just gonna stop procastinating. I want to stop living in my head and start living my life. I want to go out and see the world around me. I want to experience life. I want to live. There's really no point worrying anymore. Took the first step and signed up for BTT. I've written out some stuff that i want to do and i'm gonna start carrying them out....step by step. The last time i made the mistake of trying to do everything all at once. I got overwhelmed and eventually, nothing was achieved. So this time, i'm gonna start slow and steady. yep. Change starts from little things. And i'm gonna try to learn to not worry so much. Try to learn what it means to 'live in the moment'. Okay...don't mind my rambling. I'm too tired to write properly. haha.